tl;dr feels

So basically I don’t want this vacation to end and I think I might have a crush on a really good friend of mine and I’m feeling another friend’s feels.

First point: Germany. Amazing place. I’ve had the absolute time of my life with my brother. I’d gladly spend the rest of my life here, with him. These past few weeks have truly been the happiest I’ve been for a very, very long time. If I may be melodramatic as I was in a tweet yesterday, “Nothing hurts”. Or at least, it didn’t until now. Everything was just wonderful. I felt like myself. My brother and I learned so much about each other, things I never would have expected of him. We both had such a good time. It’s going to hurt a lot, having to go back to this world of college and parents and stress. It is, however, something that has to be done and I should be thankful I got this opportunity in the first place. You know, really, I am. We did great things, had great conversations, and it was great being back in Europe just for a little bit. But goddamn am I going to miss it.

I have to fly out tomorrow. Thinking of just staying up all night to crash on the plane. Not sure yet. I like being awake and daydreaming more than I like sleep-dreaming.

Point two: My friend. I work with him on a lot of creative endeavors and when we finally saw our latest one realized, I just wanted to jump into his arms. This is wildly impractical, as he is far away. Now, I can’t say I’ve not had confused feelings for anyone before - As I’m someone who gets very, very into his friends, this is quite common - this is the first time I’ve ever had any real thought towards another man in more than a jokey or “Hey, he’s handsome” way. That said, I still don’t think I could do anything physical with him past cuddling and making out, but both seem like damn attractive propositions at times. Then again, I really like women so it might just be him being him that’s getting me. He really is a great person. So funny and creative and fun. fuck, maybe just being cuddle buddies would be nice. Is that even a thing? Cuddle buddies? It should be.

It’s just hard working out these feelings, especially since as said he’s a few states away. Perhaps once we run into each other during our life travels I’ll know for sure. Holy christ I’m glad Sam doesn’t read my Tumblr. He’d be all fucked knowing this and would likely make life unbearable.

Third point, another friend of mine is sad and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. This feels shit. He does hard work for little reward by those who appoint it to him. I shower him with compliments and thanks but it never feels enough because he can’t accept it all because he just wants something from them and he just isn’t going to get it. Sucks.

So yeah, sorry about this. I just needed to rant a bit. You know how it gets. I’ll post more funny pictures and reblog steampunk stuff soon, promise.

Oh, Nate, if you’re reading this: Hi, Nate!